Gamma World 11: The Belle of the Ball Loses it!

Hi everybody. Wouldzee the owl here and I am so pissed off at those robot guys. They totally did a dick move on the hippies and even though some people might argue that the hippies totally brought it on themselves for bombing the robots’ train with explosive seed pods and stuff, still they didn’t have to go so far.

We got back from the Lab Rats complex and even though we were all totally beat up and stuff we decided that we’d join the big party that was going on. Sally entered this dance competition and she was in this dance-off with all the best dancers in town and one of the gangster leader’s bodyguards was this amazing dancer and I thought that was  a little weird because you think you’d hire a body guard to be a good fighter and not for his ability to cut a rug, but anyhoo the whole competition was really between those two and Sally was downing drugs like she was eating candy, but it totally paid off because she won the competition and she got a sash and this tiara and one of the judges, named Simon Cowbell, said some not mean things about her and that was kind of cool because he was sort of a dick to everyone else.

Anyhoo, while we were at the competition, the robot healer guy from the hippies came up to me and he said those evil robots from Prairie Dog Town were coming and he thought they’d totally turn him against his friends or something and that we should take all their maps and plans and stuff and then he ran off really quick. Suddenly, the loud speakers shrieked and that annoying robot guy starts broadcasting that they are attacking the Yew and that everybody better not do anything about it or they’d totally attack them too and we were like,  “No way, we’re totally going to stop you!” And we jumped on a water bug and paddled over as fast as we could.

So we see these flying robot drones, like the one I shot out of the sky a while back, and this big flying truck thing and these robots sliding down ropes and attacking the hippies and the truck and the drones were shooting fire everywhere and the forest was burning down and I thought about my matches again, but then I focused and was like, “John, we’ve got this new ice thing, can we use that on the fire?” And John started telling us everything it could do, like strengthen armor and weaken armor and it had this bazooka setting and we’re all like, “Why didn’t you start with bazooka? Bazooka, bazooka, BAZOOKA!” And John started shooting at the big, flying truck with it and I think maybe the bazooka makes time go slower around John because it seemed like he was doing a lot of different things at once. Anyhoo, one of the drones flew at us, and Gramps pegged it with an arrow, so I popped a goofball and flew at it and my rifle jammed and it set me on fire and then John shot me with his bazooka and I think I died and Beyoh rescued me then Sally injected me with some healing drugs. Then Sally died and John healed her and for some reason he had an extra arm now and I imagine that will come in handy for an ordinary kind of guy like him. Then Sally ate like half of the bag of drugs she got from that mobster and started going totally ape-shit, she was throwing her weapons around and then pulling out new ones and beating the crap out of anything that came near her and she was screaming something about breathing water and I was a little scared, but she eventually collapsed into a ball after we killed all the robots.

The Yew was totally on fire and John was trying to use his fire extinguisher to put it out, but it was pretty pointless by this time and we were all really beat up and Sally was throwing up a lot and Beyoh was not going anywhere near the fire and I think Gramps had fallen asleep or something. There were a lot of dead robots and a dead hippies and I felt pretty bad about all that and the big, giant Yew tree is totally burned down and Beyoh felt pretty bad about that and we never saw the grasshopper guy or any of our other friends among the dead people and I hope they are all ok, even the guy that can’t grow dreds. One thing is for sure though and that is those robots are total dicks and we need to deal with them and it is going to be really dangerous and I am still worried about those Knights of Genetic Purity attacking our friends in the Forge because those knights are total dicks too and we just need to decide which of them is the biggest threat and go and let them have it with the ice bazooka and hope we don’t get killed by John again.

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