Gamma World 6: Meaner than a Junkyard Dog

Fridge and Gramps players could not make the game.


Hi, I’m Wouldzee the owl and I have some important tips about exploring junkyards. First, if you find an old robot chances are leaving it turned off is the wise thing to do, I mean, it’s not likely you’re going to turn on a rampaging death-bot or anything, but rather you are going to be terribly disappointed when he tells you he can mix up a dry martini and then fails to deliver. Second, if somebody tells you they see “glowing things” moving around in the junkyard you should probably run away, because chance are they will be giant, radioactive dogs that breath clouds of radiation and get you all irradiated and cause some of the hair to fall off your head and maybe even lose some of the quills from your butt.

Anyhoo, we were talking to Jesmond the groundhog and he told us he’d seen some glowy things moving around the forest maybe an hour away and I think maybe one of my great, great grandparents was a magpie or something because I’m usually interested in stuff that is bright and shiny, but on the other talon I was thinking, “Wouldzee, maybe those glowy things will blow up if you light them on fire,” so we had Jesmond lead us back to the place. We couldn’t see anything through the woods, but we found a chain-link fence and we climbed or flew over it and stumbled around for a while and we found these barrels of goop, but it didn’t burn and I fell in an old car and John eventually tripped over this robot and then he turned it on and it was speaking Canadian at first, but it eventually learned our language and it told us that its name was Buddy and it could make drinks and John ordered a martini, but Buddy told us that it needed ingredients and we were all disappointed that we couldn’t get liquored-up and then it started telling jokes and he may as well have been talking Canadian because they were s-o-o-o not funny and then he told us this lame joke about a dog and suddenly there was a dog behind us and then a bunch more circled us and then they attacked.

The dogs were really mean and they breathed radiation and I thought I was going to die so I flew up into the air and started blasting them with my Mauser and I was watching John get all these terrible burns and his hair was falling out and now he’s got this mole on his cheek that I don’t like the look of. We really sucked at fighting, but finally we killed most of them and the one ran away and everybody was feeling like throwing up, which as I’ve said before is not that big of a deal for me, and we only had one dose of Rad-Away and we gave it to John because he totally looked like he might die any minute. We found the den those dogs lived in and it smelled pretty awful, but we went down into it and found a dead guy (like totally dead and not like Fridge who wasn’t totally dead for a while at least) and a shopping cart with some bricks and a telepathic parrot and some power armor that Sally totally claimed and some other stuff too.

Anyhoo, we were all really tired and stuff and knew we’d probably have our asses handed to us if we tried to break into the Forge and free the Dandelion lady and other folks who the Knights of Genetic Purity had captured so we finally decided to call Bear Trap and make a deal to trade him those motorcycles for some Jet and Rad-Away and ammo for our guns and we came up with some elaborate plan to meet them and stuff and I figured this was game over for us, but Bear Trap did an honest trade, only John’s telepathic parrot overheard him tell his boys to track us so he really turned out to be kind of a douche after all. We’d planned to go back to the bunker to see our friends before heading to the Forge, but that is totally not going to happen know that we know we’re being tracked, so we’re going to head straight to the Forge and hopefully the pig men and the knights can use each other for target practice while we sneak in and rescue our friends.

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