Former Sergeant-at-Arms to the Emir, Tower of Ahriman, Great City of Malaam
Current resident of Caazham
My Esteemed Master Khalim,
Please forgive me if this letter is slightly more
incompre imcompe incrompre hard to understand than usual, for I have been at the wormwood ale.
I have just received news from
Kahzam Kaazom Caazham that the devils besieging that city are on the run and that you are alive and played a role in that rout. You can’t know how happy I am to hear that. Almost as happy as I am to be alive myself!!
There was the matter of this Lich who had summoned countless
friends fiends to destroy Keuset, (similar to the evil being assaulting Caazham, no doubt). And this Lich was retreating and required pursuit. We caught up to him in a cavern outside of town, guarded by four horned devils, and protected by countless spells. Needless to say, this was an epic battle, where our party, already weak from defeating two (TWO!) Pit Fiends, used every resource at our disposal in a desperate struggle not to be blown into bits, suffocate in our own blood inside a poison cloud, or be instantly slain with a single word by the Lich. Oh, and then be raised from the dead as an animated corpse that tries to eat his friends. Nom nom nom.
Lord and Lady Armand played a most significant part in the battle, for which we are most grateful.
(The Paladin made me write this)
I don’t recommend any sane person taking on a Lich. Luckily for us, what we lack in skill and experience, we make up for with just a touch of madness. And we have pixies. Lots of pixies. Just imagine how quickly we would have won if our tiny naturalist friend had
transmog transfor transubstanti turned us all into giant apes, as he had hoped to.
In any case, the Lich’s devil summoning days are over, not because he is dead forever, but because we stole his portal. HaHa! His phylactery (new word, I had to look it up) remains….somewhere.
Then back at Keuset, there was much rejoicing. And festivity and revelry and noise-making. I’m fairly sure Cap’t Barcelona broke the rum distillery, and then proceeded to
obstrepr vocifer emphati really loudly crow for the sunrise…two days in a row.
My head! I’m gone to sleep this off and then back to the hard work of delegating and supervising….and to the stupid library to research something or other.
Your Faithful Student,